Writing Task - Paralympic controversy

José Ricardo dos Santos escreveu:[size=16]Proposal:
 
Considering the characteristics of the genre as taught by your monitor and as described in page 70 (Voices 4), choose one of the topics below and write an opinion article about it. Research the topic you want to write about in order to enrich your text.
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[size=16](1)   During the Paralympic Games, international magazine Vogue released a campaign titled “Somos Todos Paralímpicos”, which generated a lot of controversy. The reason for this controversy was because, instead of having paralympic athletes photographed, the advertisers photoshopped disabilities over Cléo Pires’s and Paulo Vilhena’s bodies.
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 [size=16](2)   Recently, Colégio Pedro II was heavily criticized due to having removed the gender indication from its uniforms. This means that, essentially, girls could wear pants (instead of only skirts, as before) and boys could wear skirts (instead of only pants, as before) if they wish to do so.[/size]

Disabled-bodied persons being honored: breaking paradigms

During the Paralympics Games, as we know, Cléo Pires and Paulo Vilhena were part of the campaign “Somos Todos Paralímpicos”. They participated on it not only to show us that the Paralympics sold few tickets, but also to convince people to buy tickets and attend the events. After this, they were criticized because they had been "photoshopped", one having an arm removed, and the other a leg. There is no reason to make a scandal about those artists, who paid tribute to people that they admire, and made it to demonstrate affection towards the challenged ones.


As a result, the tickets were sold in less time than compared to the Olympics, and the campaign shows that everyone has a problem, it doesn’t matter whichever be (I would remove this sentence). [And we have to stop to think, just because a person doesn’t have a leg or whatever, it doesn’t mean that I don’t have to make an honor for people with disabilities. You don’t need to be a challenged to pay tribute to another challenged, as soon as you don’t need to be a black to be favor of racial quotas, for example, this is hypocrisy.] We must keep in mind that everyone deserves respect, and those athletes with disabilities deserve even more, as they face true challenges to achieve their dreams. 


In the Philosophy, this is called fallacy Argumentum ad Hominem. You attack the character or personality traits of the opponent rather than refute his argument.
Ad hominem attacks may take the form of personal and direct blows against someone, or more subtly throw doubt on his character or personal attributes. The desired result of an ad hominem attack is to harm one's opponent without engaging with his argument or provide your own. As soon as they are paying tribute to able-bodied, this doesn’t mean that they can be necessarily abled-bodieds, they could have any physical problems, even that they don’t have any problem (You developed well the philosophy idea, but in this latter highlighted part I have no idea on what you tried to say). The system is mostly guilty, once it was only on 2008 that subjects like  Philosophy and Sociology became part of the school curriculum.


That’s why the common sense didn’t have to turn it into a worldwide scandal.  Everyone has its personal issue: be it mental or physical. The common sense misses lack  text  (misses/lack --> redundant) interpretation, and it is due to poor philosophical and sociological studies on schools. The next generation must be part of a better education system, so they will not make the same mistakes as us. An educated nation is a well-advanced one. Only education can free us from ignorance, and allow people to change the world. That’s why we can make a better future to don’t happen this again. Only so we can do this.  
                                                                                     

I would like to knwow that you guys can rate my writing task. how I was on the task...


Regards.


Sincerely,
José Ricardo.